a lost song… a lost soul

Posted on Posted in Dorian Gray, music, song discussionTagged ,

Okay fellow confessioners, let me tell you what’s currently on my mind. I have a song. It is a great song. It has been years in the making. It is catchy, intelligent, powerful and is just a really epic song. It was started so long ago that musical genres have come and gone since I laid down the first beats. The song has eaten emo and spat out its quivering soul. It devoured the Arctic Monkeys for breakfast and still had room for 3 Shredded Wheat! This song is seriously good. But here’s the problem… it is my ‘unsingable’ ™ song.  So that is my question… does every singer/band have their own ‘unsingable’ ™ song???

Here’s how it goes… Every couple of months I load this particular song up in my studio and take a stab at singing it.  And every time without fail I end up in a sweaty heap on the floor with a throat like sandpaper.  This song beats me!  It knows my weaknesses and pounds the living daylights out of me.  But I wrote it!!!  It’s all my fault!  It shouldn’t be difficult, it’s just a song.  Maybe it’s the knowledge that if I get it right – this song will probably be the best song on the album.  Hmmm.  No, I don’t buy into that at all.  The problem is more likely the sheer speed the lyrics have to be sung at and the lack of gaps for breath!  I just can’t get any air when I’m singing this thing.  I think I need to enter one of those reality shows… Operastar UK; Britain’s got no talent; Pop star, you know the sort of thing!  They always seem to have breathing exercises for the troops.

Do you know what makes it even worse?  The fact that when I’m not actually recording, I can sing it perfectly.  Now this really winds me up.  No word of a lie, when that red light isn’t on – it’s like I’m a Jeff Buckley or a Thom Yorke.  With the red light on however I’m more like Worzel Gummidge! (google it).  Come on… be honest now… do any of you musicians/singers out there have this very same problem?  Come on… there must be one of you???  Just raise a hand.  No, raise your fist and yell!

Then to cap it all off, I actually do have a vocal take already on the track.  It was the ‘guide vocal’.  Let me explain a guide vocal to those of you not on the ‘in the know’ bus.  A guide vocal is when the singer of the band sings the song in the studio just so that there is a version of the vocals caught on tape.  This then allows the other band members to know where they are in the song and generally makes everything a little easier for all concerned.  Then, at a later time, the singer re-records the vocals properly.  Hence you have a pristine final version which usually has  no resemblance to the pitchy, rushed, sung whilst nursing a hangover ‘guide vocal’ take.

So… I have actually sung this damn song through before – and it sounds pretty good.  But I just want to make it great.  Make it perfect.  But I’m currently stuck with the guide vocal.  And I can’t move on.  Nothing comes close to the bleedin’ guide vocal!  Arrrghhhh.  Perhaps I could actually get a Girl Guide to sing the guide vocal.  Maybe that would help?  Or maybe just having a guide dog in the studio while I try and catch the perfect vocal take?  Seriously,  this would be like Van Gogh cleaning his brushes on an old rag – and then realising that the paint on the rag has formed the most beautiful image.  An image he struggles to recapture for real on a canvas… but can never quite attain it.  Would it drive him mad?  Mad enough to remove an ear?  In fact, maybe that’s what happened.  Hmmmm, I should be a history teacher!!!

So I’m sitting here typing this… in a pool of sweat.  The song is laughing at me.  And it’s such a great song.  I know it, and the song knows it.  And this has been going on for years!  This song sits on the studio hard drive.  Just sits there.  I’m getting older, and all the while the song is sitting there chuckling.  If the song had a face it would have a constant smirk!  I’m going about my everyday life getting older, writing other songs – but never completely moving on because this song is sitting in the wings… in the shadows… haunting me!  If I hadn’t already named this song I would be tempted to call it “Dorian Gray”.  In fact, I may well just do that anyway.  I will keep coming back to this song because it has a hook in me.  I cannot escape it.  I know it is a classic song.  But so far it’s a classic song that not another soul in the world has ever heard.  And there is the argument that says that perhaps that is the way it should stay.  A lost song.  A lost soul.

the hooded claw

Posted on Posted in television, the eleventh hourTagged , ,

A decent enemy. That’s what you need. Not necessarily in the movies but in real life too. We all need an arch-enemy! Now, I’m not sure where the arch comes into it? Does it mean the villain does NOT have flat feet??? Excuse me. Yes… you. You’re applying for what? Baddie you say? Hmmmm. In what context? ‘James Bond Baddie’ TM ? Hmmm. Well. Okay, I suppose. But you’ve got to understand sir… we have millions of applications for this position every year! You sure you’re up to the job? Hmmmm. Okay… let’s just nip through a few preliminary questions:
You got a propensity for gold hoarding?
Yes? Okay… good enough start.
You enjoy stroking a cat?
Yes? Really?!? Oh, by the way sir… notice I avoided the obvious pussy gag there!
Okay, okay, okay… hmmm. Okay, here’s a biggy… You got any previous experience with manufacturing fake volcanoes? … No sir, I don’t think you fully understand. Not model volcanoes. I mean full-scale! Yes, that’s right. A hundred feet tall! Well… yes, it could be fibre glass… why does that make it any easier??? Oh, you’ve got a brother who works in the business… right. Hmmmm. Okay, perhaps not a volcano. How about running an island? Yes, we’d give you an island. Well, you’ve got to run it. You know, as a kind of enemy stronghold! Got any experience in building metal dragons? Okay sir, no need to be like that… It really wasn’t a silly question. Can I just ask you… you did read the role profile? Okay… just checking sir!
Now, I’ll be honest with you… so far so bad. Hmmmm. Okay… Henchmen, ah yes, henchmen. Any henchmen sir? Hmmm. 7 feet tall? That sounds good. Anything else? Metal teeth?!? Hmmm, I really don’t know about that. Sounds a bit weird. I was really targeting more for a hitman or something… your mate sounds more like a kid who’s eaten too much Kendal Mint Cake. Er, explain the value of these metal teeth to the organisation. Hey, good answer. Biting! I never thought of that. You’d be surprised how many times I wished I had metal teeth to bite my way out of a situation!!!
Okay sir, well, I think I’m pretty much prepared to offer you the job. You haven’t done too well in this interview… but you are persistent. And persistence is very valued here! By the way… if you were faced with a secret agent, let’s say for argument’s sake, a licensed to kill secret agent – would you:
A) Put him in a shed surrounded by crocodiles and turn your back on him?
B) Clamp him to a table and slowly fire a laser at his groin?
C) Tie him to a chair and whip him with a wet towel?
D) Shoot him immediately through the head?
So… make your choice. Hmmm. Really? I mean… okay, most people go for that option… but I was really hoping you’d go for option D! I mean… the crocodile thing is a pretty good choice, but to be honest… it does have its failings! Still, I suppose it IS quite nasty. I mean… no-one really WANTS to have a crocodile’s teeth in his neck! Still… I was hoping you’d have gone for option D. Oh well, nevermind!
I’m happy to say you’ve got the job sir! Just put your signature here. Yes… that’s it… actually, you might want to come up with an alternate name. What for? Well, you know… to make yourself sound more… how shall we say…. scary? No I’m not sure about that sir. No… really… I’d personally steer clear of the “Doctor”s and the “Finger”s. Okay, I suppose it’s okay if you sleep on it. Oh, just one more thing. Whip your shoes off – there’s a man. Thankyou. I know it seems a bit odd… just one more thing for me to check. Just a formality really.
Oh… Bloody hell!!! Flat feet?!? Out of my office now!!! This just isn’t on!?! The quality of applicants these days! It’s a disgrace!

So… I just watched the final episode of Sherlock.  I thought it was great!  Best little mini-series I’ve seen in a long time and an absolutely marvelous update of the second greatest detective of all time.  The thing that made the final episode for me was the quality of the villain.  A truly sinister creation.  Something that Doctor Who fell so short with in recent years with The Master.  This villain was everything The Master should have been. Genuinely great!  While it’s true that Sherlock Holmes certainly doesn’t NEED an overarching master criminal… it was nice to see one finally implemented well.  An unhinged menace of a man!  And I haven’t given anything away.  If you haven’t seen it I suggest you track it down asap!

I’m gonna spend a bit of time in my studio tomorrow and work on the latest song.  I will keep you all updated, but my first thoughts are that it is going to be a blast!  I hope you are all enjoying Pitfall!  Please keep flicking back to this site to follow the progress of the new one!  When the album’s complete you can then tell your friends that you were “there” every step of the way!

a post with lots of ???s

Posted on Posted in music, song discussionTagged , , , ,

Maybe I should start work on the ultimate song?  What do you reckon people?  The perfect song.  So, what would be your perfect song?  Would it be the song that you most enjoy listening to?  Or would it be the song that you most respect?  Heart or brain?  Perhaps that is the eternal conflict for any songwriter.  To be (clever) or not to be (clever), that is the question.

What is the ultimate song?  Is it short and sharp?… or is it an epic?  – a song of such scale that it obliterates all who dare to look it in the face.

My favourite songs?.. off the top of my head… typing at 100 miles an hour, with the radio on.  Hmmm… let’s see: actually… after typing a list of my favourite songs I have now deleted it.  I don’t think it’s something I should publish.  It would influence your opinion of my music.  Anyway… a quick tot up of the list revealed that most of the songs on it were pretty short.  For every Bohemian Rhapsody there was an Ever Fallen in Love With Someone You Shouldn’t Have and a Babies.  So… my conclusion… the perfect song does not have to be a rock opera.  In fact it is likely to be a small, insignificant work which nevertheless brightens your day, and then your life.

But I like my Kashmirs, my Sympathy for the Devils, my Achilles Last Stands, my Day in the Lifes, my Cry me a Rivers.  I love my Stairway to Heavens, Ballard of Dwight Frys, Rime of the Ancient Mariners, Everyday is Like Sundays… these are songs I would consider epic, not only in content but also in technical sophistication.

So, I am going to attempt a truly epic work of art.  I’m gonna try to complete a song that will take your breath away in its sheer outrageous scope.  The most cinematic song I have ever undertaken.  A work of total bloody-minded epicness.

Okay… I admit I’m typing this whilst drinking a bottle of red wine… but you’ve got to set yourself goals.  And when I complete the song I will point you all back to this post and say “told you so!”.  And, okay, it doesn’t help that I’m watching a documentary on Freddie Mercury!  Ha ha.  It’s bringing out the ol’ rock whore in me!  But my whole music life has been about trying to outdo the last song.  What could outdo the last song more than a 13 minute rock epic???  Hmmm.  Maybe I should watch Spinal Tap again for the millionth time.  Saucy Jack?  No, an epic from me would be well worth the wait!  How long have you all got?  See you in 2020?!?

songs are the footprints of a gigantic hound!!!

Posted on Posted in pitfall, song discussion, television, the eleventh hourTagged ,

Sherlock didn’t disappoint.  One thing in life that is always difficult to do is to surpass previous achievements.  This is true in the worlds of TV, film, art, the list goes on.  Was John Cleese nervous when he was (co) writing the 2nd series of Fawlty Towers?  I would expect that he was.  Perhaps that’s an unfair example as I would guess that John Cleese felt he could do no wrong at that point in the 1970s… but, for a normal person, the difficulty of living up to past glories can be a burden.  It drags some down, notably some of my heroes such as Tony Hancock.  But for others it can fire them up, fuelling something special.  John Lennon managed it with Imagine.  Kubrik rarely faltered.

In the rock world it can be difficult to forge fresh metal when you have been involved in previous tin can alleys.  I’m one of those musicians who finds the challenge to topple previous works  a driving force behind my art.  I like to write a great song… because I know the next song will have to be even better.  Okay, sometimes little rays of sunlight glisten in the creative haze and cause problems with the ever upward steps towards “the perfect song”.  In that respect I feel that Escape Plan was a gem that could have been very hard to equal, let alone surpass.  But Bill and myself, as The Eleventh Hour, have tried our best!  The result is a song called Pitfall.  It is a very different beast to Escape Plan, and is certainly a contender for first single.  Please give it a listen and see what you think.  The plan of action for The Eleventh Hour – the mission statement if you will – is to produce the best music we can.  That may seem like a simple, pointless statement… but if you really try to adhere to such a grandiose boast it can be a drain of the senses!  The quest for the ultimate song can eat at you from the inside, can fill your mind and consume your day.  We are not your everyday common or garden people us songwriters.  We are the supreme beings.  Remember that, especially if you ever meet me at the bar!  A songwriter expects to be bought a drink!  And a packet of dry roasted peanuts – and then my friends… and then… we may share with you our world. 😉

Oh, and roll on episode 3 of Sherlock.  Damn fine TV! 🙂

“Elementary.” said he.

Posted on Posted in televisionTagged , , , ,

Updating a classic. This is a task that has befallen many a writer over the years.  All those old novels that have been transposed to the modern-day. Some hits… some failures. Time after Time, riding roughshod as it does over the slurry of source material, is my favourite as it places Jack the Ripper and H G Wells in THE SAME FILM!!!

So… the man behind the good bits of new Doctor Who has brought Sherlock Holmes back to my TV screen.  Only now it isn’t set in the 19th Century – we’re right here, right now.  A world of mobile phones and texting.  GPS, CSI, all the acronyms you can muster.  I heard that a friend of mine, while watching the first episode, thought to himself “…hmmm, I bet COTWS (that’s C.onfession o.f t.he W.hole S.chool) is hating this”.  Seems he thinks I’d naturally despise a modern update of the great Sherlock Holmes.  Well, how wrong he was.  ‘Cause I lurved it!

This is the second greatest detective of all time we’re talking about here.  Why wouldn’t a modern update work?  Okay, I suppose you’re discarding the Victorian setting, the ambience, the cocaine, Basil Rathbone and the black and white.  But what you gain is the here and now.  Sherlock Holmes pretty much invented ‘frenzics’ as we know it today.  Your CSIs and, yes, even your Columbos would struggle to exist in a Sherlock Holmes-less world.  I loved the update.  What would Sherlock Holmes be like today?  Well, I think the BBC got it right.  I think ol’ holmes boy would embrace the modern.  Embrace technology.  He would be ahead of the game.  He isn’t Miss Marple… He’s SHERLOCK HOLMES!!!

The ‘visualisation of thoughts’, text on the screen, was a novel twist – something I can’t remember seeing done before.  Friends tell me that it has been done in film previously, and I could imagine that something similar must have been pulled off in a CSI series – but for me it was a mighty fine use of the visuals.  To write on-screen a person’s thoughts…  it saved a lot of time and was simply very clever.  Holmes was portrayed again, quite rightly, as the intellectual loner.  Portrayed in the same manner as the serial killer.  Of course, the two are flip-sides of the same coin.  A factor that most Columbo episodes use to their advantage.  If the killer is a genius – it takes an even bigger brain to get the better of him.  Or luck.

So, one episode done and dusted… two to go.  Can the producers pull off the impossible? – Give me three 90 minute episodes with nothing for me to moan about?  Probably not.  But I look forward to the disappointment.

If you see SID, tell him

Posted on Posted in gaming, music, pitfall, song discussion, the eleventh hourTagged , , , ,

So I power up the studio. My little studio is like the control room from Forbidden Planet.  A variety of old switches – clanked into position – the hum of PoWeR. …and you sit there looking blankly at the equipment. Where is the next song going to come from? Then the spark. That magnificent spark of inspiration:
“It takes just one little spark to set me off… and just one small dose of you is more than enough.”

The sounds of my youth always provide me with some context to place a song. Now, I’m gonna go back into the deep, dark wilderness of time with some of these references, so those of you the ‘jealousy-inducing’ side of 20 will read this as a proper history lesson.

Video games have always been of a source of great inspiration to the more indie-centric musician. Ha ha… I’m not talking Bon Jovi or Simple Minds here! If I hark back to my ‘golden era’ of gaming I’m talking Atari 2600, C64, BBC, Electron, Spectrum, Amiga, SNES, Megadrive. Computers and consoles that had internal sound chips and produced what would be described today as ‘bleeps and blips’ music.  The composers of the day had a really limited pallet to work with, but they produced classic music. Take the time to youtube Forbidden Forest on the C64. Classic chip music. And check out the date! Ha ha. Listen to recent rap and hip-hop, Timbaland for example. This style of (SID chip) music is timeless.

So I decide I’m gonna make the next song a nostalgic blast from the past. And if it’s a blast from the past… why not wrap a few old skool BLAST sound effects into a rhythm. There… simple, the bed of the song. The song quickly takes shape. When I get an idea between my teeth I gnash at it until it’s in tatters!!!

Computer games were often conceived and programmed by one solitary person.  He’d be responsible for everything, including the music.  Eventually you had composers who would work specifically on the music.  The most famous of the 80s era was arguably Rob Hubbard.  Although knowing his name probably seems a little geeky, so many modern producers are using the methods he perfected – mentioning his name lifts you a rung above the average muso.  Smarter than the average bear in fact!

The youth of today (has to be said in a sneering “old man’s” voice) know nothing of chip music.  Ever since the mid 90s and the introduction of the Playstation, consoles have been able to stream ‘real’ music from the CD. I remember playing the original Wipeout and marvelling at hearing The Chemical Brothers and Orbital while I raced.  It really did seem revolutionary.  In hindsight, perhaps a little part of me died.  Ha ha.  Anyway, perhaps what goes around comes around.  Nintendo have always been on board the ‘chip-wagon’ and the DS is certainly doing its best to keep chip music in the public’s ears!

So… now we’ve established that I only like chip music and I hate ‘real’ music in games – I’ve just got to leave this website for a second.  Just got to have another play on Beatles Rock Band!  Then I’ve got to have discussions with some video game producers about getting some songs on their latest titles.  You see… garlic bread, nope, I mean Video Game Music – is – the – future – of – Real – Rock!!!